Single channel video, collage
video: http://vimeo.com/220284314, 7min45s
I imagine you to be a woman with a delicate body who delights in living.
Mum tells me that she would have named you Hung-jin. Dad still talks about the daughter he never knew.
I call you Nancy. I imagine that you left to study overseas and have yet to return. You were born with a quiet nature and have become slightly eccentric. Due to your own academic pursuits, I understand why you have never taken the initiative to contact us and we dare not disturb you.
How are you? I continue to search for you on the internet. I look for someone with features similar to my own but with long hair dyed blond, a pair of shiny pupils that often look blue but turn brown in the right light, and wearing softly-coloured eye make-up. Your home city has unstable weather and so you wear clothes in various styles from different seasons. You have a large circle of friends who share information about you and your life on the internet, and this helps me create a more vivid and accurate image of who you are today.
Perhaps your departure has no return. I have created an album where I keep information that I collect about you so Mum, Dad and I may better know and remember you. You are now twenty-five years old. This album is the only record I have of your life.
妳 生活好嗎？我在互聯網上找尋妳。妳的身影千變萬化，偶爾帶有一頭黑色髮絲，間或染成一把長長的金髮，都低垂虛掩著隨時間與地域變換的俏臉；眼珠兒藍藍啡 啡，眼圈四周濃妝或素面都明艷照人；妳生活在天氣變化多端的國度，衣著多變而無分季節；妳有著龐大的生活圈子，身邊的朋友都將跟妳的合照存載到網上，我從 這側面認識了妳更多。
“I call you Nancy” is a project created using the sentimental projection of facts based on the memory of a sister I never knew. My mother terminated a pregnancy over twenty years ago. The work weaves together a fictitious story that has been formed through the process of grief and loss and yearning for memories that were never made. The structure of the project contains falsehoods, truths as well as details found and created through Internet searches using specific keywords, possibility and coincidence.
This project is not only about self-expression, but aims to raise questions about the significance of having children from the perspective of my mother and others confronted with the change in values and society’s prevailing preference for single-child families. The average family size in my mother’s generation and the generations that came before was about ten people. Traditionally, large families were necessary in order to increase the size of the labor force on the farm or in the home. The political and economic development of China has altered the traditional family with educational ideals and promises for a better future. This shift came with great loss that has grown into regret for many in my mother’s and subsequent generations.
本 計劃不單是個人的情感抒發，更旨在藉著母親作為處於八十年代面對組織家庭價值轉變的處境，如何思考生兒育女的意義。由母親上一輩普遍以十多人為單位的家庭 規模，收窄到三至四人。兒女亦由作為單單勞動力的增加及符合形成傳統大家族的意識，轉向成父母親一輩能漸趨美好將來的寄望。當中，墮胎成了那個時代一些母 親的遺憾。